Small Bandage, Big Wound

I teach children. During the school day I teach first graders. Before and after school I teach kids from 3 years old through the eighth grade. I love it. As you can imagine, I see a good share of scraped knees and paper cuts and other things that kids need TLC for.

When I get out the health supplies, of course I match the wound with the appropriate bandage. Paper cut needs a regular bandaid. A scraped knee or elbow often needs two bandaids in a t shape or one of those big square ones. Whatever it takes to cover the cut.

I have been known to draw a little smile face on a bandaid or when I am adventurous, I might draw a little cat head. I don't draw well, so those only come when a child is very very upset. Often by the time we are actually getting to the bandaid process the hurt is gone and the child has stopped crying, but they still want the bandaid. It makes them feel comforted and cared for.

During this summer I have been helping my parents feel comforted and cared for. It is a lot of trial and error, but through God's guidance, it is working. My sister and brother are also helping. In no way am I alone in this. But as a teacher with no summer job, I am the logical choice as I have time to offer. I live alone so coming to help my parents is logical. I am like the bandaid that helps them to feel a little more taken care of during their very hard time. And I am thankful.

Mom's illness is not on my summer schedule. Her needs will still be here when I go back to school. They may be more pronounced or not, but they will still exist. I can't imagine my parents without me or someone else here. I think they will both feel less safe and secure if they are here alone. Even though no one has asked me, I started praying a while ago, asking God if I was expected to leave my home and move in here full time. My sister is married and works in Boston. My brother is married with two kids. I am still the logical choice. But this week I felt very strongly that God does not want me to offer to move in. I was thrilled. I absolutely did not want to, though if He had told me, I would have done it. I would have stomped my feet and punched a wall (figuratively, as I am a wimp about pain), but I am sure I would have done it. I fully believe He does not want me to give up my home, my schedule and my independence. Whew!

But as guilt comes easily, I had to ask again if I were being selfish. Was I just hearing what I wanted Him to say? So I told my sister about what I had prayed and how I felt it had been answered. She immediately said she would never want to see me move in. She didn't think I should consider it even if I was asked. And she didn't think I would be asked.

We have been seeking alternatives. Rearranging the house? Home health? Assisted Living? They are all possible.

When I asked God to give me peace about not volunteering to move, He gave me a wonderful illustration. To sum it up, He said that my parents' needs are very very big. I am not medical. I am not trained. I am not qualified to meet the needs as they are coming. It is very likely my parents will need to be where there are medically trained people to work with them. Their need will be bigger than my ability to help. And if I did come indefinitely and do my best to meet needs as they came, it could end up where I would be masking some of the need. If we can figure out a way to make something happen, even by happenstance, then a real need may be overlooked.

God gave me the image of putting a Hello Kitty bandaid on an open surgery wound.

I encourage you to look at your responsibilities. Especially the ones that seem overwhelming. Maybe you need to step up and get your act together. Or maybe you need to find some appropriate help if the wound is too big and your bandaid is too small.