A Sigh of the Times

Dusting off the blog to journal about sadness, joy, strength and fear. Somehow, those things all go together today.

In the past few weeks my dear friend Debbie has been given a glowing report from her primary care doctor and then found to have tumors by oncologists. Shock.

Then within the past week, she has gone from hospital to home to biopsy to waiting for results to readmittance and now a diagnosis that does not seem to have earthly hope.

Our hope is not in things of earth. Deb has been prayed for round the world. She comes from a family with 10 siblings and numerous cousins, grandkids, in-laws....plus she has an incredible community of friends. More people, more shock.

I see a Facebook page that has people writing hourly to encourage her. Scripture verses, hymn lyrics, memories of time spent with her and many many expressions of concern. This is all good. But I sigh.

When my mom was sick, diagnosed (sort-of) and declining she was sent many of the same scriptures. We all appreciated it, we believed it, but we did not see physical change to match the promises of the Bible. Sigh.

I like to take things very literally. Ask anyone who knows me. My head aches from things that are too abstract. And since I have always believed the Bible to be 100% true, then it seemed to me that when there is a promise of healing, then healing will come. But mom declined more. My friend Deb is still in the hospital. Can this be reconciled?

It took a long time of fear, questioning, anger, shaking my fists and begging God for some literal proof of what He has promised. But He is bigger than my mind. He is bigger than my logical desires for healing.

I do believe without a doubt that my mom has been healed. On September 26, 2009 her body that betrayed her no longer held her captive. I believe her legs moved, her hands moved, her breathing regulated and she saw her Saviour face to face.

Honestly, I wanted earthly healing. I wanted more time as her daughter. I told God of my pain and disappointment. And He told me that His promises are true. They come to be. But not always on earth.

So now I find myself going back to Him with the same hope and conversation for Debbie. She is active, full of love, full of faith. She has a family that adores her. She has a husband who has loved her for something like 40 years. I don't want God to take her yet. But, I know, if He does, that the promised healing will happen...in the blink of an eye...even if I can't see it.